I am currently trying to gather sufficient evidence to support my claim that the woman from the BT adverts that have been dragging on for years, documenting a relationship of sorts with Kris Marshall, the bloke from My Family, is the same woman in the new Pizza hut advert where she is a mum so proud that her son can use the washing machine she chants ‘hut’. Marshall was actually good in My Family and made it watchable (DON’T even entertain the idea of watching now that the geeky one has matured and therefore lost his glasses ???. it actually is unbearable!) but left to pursue a loftier acting career. Unfortunately this has rather backfired as he has only been in some period russian drama wearing a baker boy hat and mumbling a few words and a cringe worthy slot in the utter dross of Love Actually; which amounts to his greatest, most enduring work since stepping off the Harper family terrain being the BT adverts. These adverts use a ridiculous stream of consciousness approach that purport to offer insight into the modern male condition, but are in fact tediously boring and you are constantly wondering why he would burden himself with this nagging, sour-faced snob instead of, well, anything.
So, I made a bet; so certain was I that this woman from the BT advert is also the mum in the Pizza Hut advert that there’s now money involved.
I was crowing quite happily, positive that I was right; my powers of observation sharp and acute.
Then I recalled the number of episodes over the last year or so when I thought that I saw someone I used to know, was convinced of it, until I wasn’t. There were questions of authenticity and the embarrassment factor which I had previously ratcheted up saying hello to someone at Piccadilly Circus who looked at me blankly and then probably assumed that I was the kind of woman who said Hi to strangers at one of the busiest pedestrian junctions in London to mask my insecurity or to increase my chances of someone saying ‘hi’ back and maybe suggesting coffee, because of the high footfall. There was the saying that seems to have become a peculiar cod-psychology; ‘ if you aren’t sure then it isn’t them.’ I’ve been going along with this for months – it seemed sensible and accurate. Only now I’m not so sure of that either. If you haven’t seen someone for over ten years and in that period some major life could have happened including, but not restricted to: college/university/army/VSO/ marriage/divorce/children/commercial success/mental breakdown/homelessness/eating disorders for both ballooning and disintegrating/moving to L.A.
Any of these could have had suitable physical effect on someone you used to know as to render them unrecognizable. This is, of course, not even taking into account plastic surgery. All of the guys that were considered ‘hot’ at school have foregone the gym and all look like Mr. Potatohead. Ultra-white, starchy and blob shaped with no hair and optional baseball cap. No matter how hormonal none of these things would be described as ‘hot’ even in the early nineties.
This being a serious consideration, I am less certain that my advert connection is assured. I do believe I’m right, but I need to prove it.
This is not as straightforward as it sounds. I have managed to establish that the woman in the BT ads is called Esther Hall and she had some part in Waking the Dead, but they axed her and little else. This backs my theory, as she’s likely to be desperate for the money that a juicy american firm would pay overriding fears of credibility at appearing in another questionable marketing campaign for an organisation that preys on the week (sic) and carrolls them into services that they don’t want.
The only good thing I can find to say about Pizza Hut is that at least they don’t try and make out that a pizza with most of the pizza missing leaving a big hole for them to balance a few rocket leaves in is a. A good idea. Or B. healthy.
ANnyway, now I’m going to try a mantra that drums out a hypnotic rhythm in the brain of the commercial maker much like the perpetual drumbeat that the Master had, that made him evil unfulfilled and mad which will only stop once they’ve posted the new Pizza Hut advert on You Tube.
We don’t have a video so in order to prove that the woman is the same in both I need to have a photo of Esther Hall on hand at any TV viewing to hold up next to the Pizza hut woman or hope that the mantra works and I can pause it on youtube sometime in the near future.
Tags: bt advert; pizza hut advert; someone you think you know
